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Opinion

16:00, 25/03/2021
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There is a haunting memory I have sầu of a drunken freshman boy knocking on my door to see the girl he was in love sầu with. I was not that girl, but she did happen lớn be in my dorm that night. After stumbling in, he began to overshare his experience with rushing our fraternities that spring.

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He recalled being sat into an open suitcase across from the recruiters, while two scantily dressed girls proceeded lớn touch hyên ổn. A series of questions then followed, including asking for opinions, lượt thích who the most f**kable freshman girl is, & surprisingly, a math problem. If you had khổng lồ f**k two girls and their ages added up to lớn 18, what ages would you choose?

I was absolutely disgusted. However, we still turn our heads khổng lồ the blatant immoral attitudes of some of our fraternities. Well boys, you can’t get away with everything. You may haze your pledges with fingers crossed that administration won’t find out, but I have no problem doing it publicly. Also, to lớn that poor drunk freshman, I hooked up with your girl lượt thích two weeks later.

I won’t name names or even frats. The point of this article is to start a real conversation about the hookup culture on campus, alongside a laugh. Also, calm down. I already know your father is a lawyer. This is an anonymous hook up column, so suông xã on my dichồng và my balls.

A story of betrayal unfolded at an infamous pool buổi tiệc nhỏ, when a junior was invited by a brother she had been talking lớn. He invited her & her friover lớn enjoy some Miamày snow upstairs. She denied the offer, only to find out that once he brought her friover upstairs, he tried to lớn make a move on her. After confronting hyên, he explained his sudden disinterest, “It’s because you won’t bởi vì coke.”

Speaking of pool parties, here is some advice. If you attkết thúc a pool buổi tiệc ngọt this semester, don’t get into the clearly infectious water. You know those boys don’t add chlorine in there, và surviving sorority girl vaginas have sầu produced enough yeast khổng lồ open up a bakery after one naive sầu dip.

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After a night of heavy drinking required khổng lồ make any frat các buổi party bearable, a sophomore invited a frat star over for some midnight hokey pokey. Not allowing a case of whiskey dick lớn deter hyên, he proceeded to lớn put a condom on his soft penis và attempt sex with her for six hours. This sad attempt of shoving his toothless mole rat into a burrow eventually made her grow tired, while he grew nothing.

Both toxically masculine & a little bit gay, fraternity homoerotic tension isn’t anything lớn be embarrassed of. Reportedly, one brother demanded that his partner give his ass a tight squeeze & begged for more when she stopped. Y’all really trying to get your cheeks clapped so bad I’m starting khổng lồ think you enjoyed the paddle.

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Frat boys, I know some of you are the finest gentlemen of this country & can’t believe what you’re reading. Keep your brothers in kiểm tra because I will say it again: you can’t get away with everything. You may get off to girls calling you “daddy,” but you bitches are my sons.


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